On Awakening Love – Part 2

When will you marry? This year? Next year? Never forever….. January, February, March, April ,May, June????

Do you know this song? Well if you do and you are still single, here is a sign that you are…..

You are good jor.

Don’t be moved by people saying “you are getting old” or “All your mates are married now with one or two children.”

Even more, do not give in to the thoughts.. Why?

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

And.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  Philipians 4:6

For me, the truth is I felt that way so many times (anxious and worried). Thoughts about not being married sometimes weighed me down.

I was genuinely happy for my friends getting married but for myself I felt so sad and alone.

Why am I stating this here? Why am I starting this way?

It’s so you know that “I ain’t no Super Girl”. It’s easy to look at me today and admire my courage, joy and strength in waiting. I kid you not, there were days when I was so down, without strength and weak.

But for God’s grace!!!

Can we get back to our story? Yes? Thanks.

Let me recap quickly. I mentioned that there was this ‘Brother A’ that God had preached to me about. (By this I mean received. If you attended campus fellowship then you will be familiar with the term ‘received’ from campus fellowship).

I waited for 7 years with expectation that brother was on his way. Months turned into years and I kept turning down other proposals because “God said I should wait.”

At this point, I will tell you this, I didn’t know it was going to take that long.

So what did I do? I worried and I doubted God. I doubted my hearing God. I would ask my self “did I truly hear God?”

Have you ever had such thoughts? When the Lord gave you an instruction or direction and it seems not to be going as expected?

I steal this moment to chip in a lesson.

Trust the LORD

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not upon your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He shall direct your path. Proverbs 3: 3-5

Very recently I was going the my quiet time journals back from 2016 and 2018. It was full of my worries written out to God. I grumbled about it over and over, I asked God what He was doing.

I wondered when this Brother A would come. If this Brother A would even ever come.

As I read through these journals, my heart was struck by one thing. I didn’t trust God enough.

I had received countless words, revelation, dreams on this marital issue but still it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted physical substance to the thing I hoped for.

I wanted this Brother A to at least make a move ( give me green light) that would convince me that I wasn’t waiting in vain.

God didn’t seem to help matters either, He kept telling me to wait. He kept giving words over and over again. Referring me to His promises.

But wait o… Wait ke?  Why would God be making me wait? Doesn’t God know that time was not on my side? Doesn’t God know that “ile obirin kii pe su?”

These questions are funny considering the fact that God knows it all… But let’s think further.

Doesn’t God know you need that job? Doesn’t He know you need the breakthrough you have been praying for a while now?

God knows!

Let me chip in a Lesson here. God knows all that we need and will ever need. Everytime, I asked the Lord why it was taking long for His word to come to past, He pointed me back to the numerous words and revelations He gave me.

What I failed to realize is that God is not a man that He would lie and He honours His word. It was certain that if the Lord had spoken then it will come to past.

The waiting is never promised to be easy for anyone but it would definitely be worth it. In our waiting period, God works out patience in us.

Back to our story…. I waited for years trusting God for his promise, even when it seemed like it wasn’t forthcoming. I wasn’t consistent, today I believed, tomorrow I doubted

I went for NYSC with one hope at the base of my mind… “That if this Brother A didn’t come, in the large sea of Kebbi, God is able to provide Brother C, Brother D and Brother E…. Lol.

And yes indeed during service year I met brothers…. I mean men of God. But at the base of my mind what God had told me remained.

You see even though I was doubting Thomasina, I couldn’t just decide to get into another relationship without God’s backing…. “I no get that mind”

And I am glad that I allowed myself to be guided. So service year that was 2017/2018 and still no show. Brother A no show and I still said ‘NO’ to other brothers.

Sigh….

Hold on, there’s something I never mentioned about myself. When I was young about 16 years of age, I had numerous advances from men…. If I were to count, they are too much to number.

In those days once I went out to the market and returned, I would get calls from guys who saw me (I don’t even know how they got my number or who they are)

I could count from the top of my head like 30 guys. It was really overwhelming. I thought to myself, “se beyen ni mo se beautiful ni? (Am I that beautiful)” Lol….

One thing that helped me was the fact that my mother had already given me some girl talk about guys. I knew that I couldn’t even get into a relationship yet. So what did I do? Remember I said it was overwhelming… Yeah it was!

I sat down with God and I prayed.. I said “God I don’t want just anyone to be attracted to me, I only want the person you have for me”

Guess what? My prayer worked, the number of guys lessened and lessened. To a point that I became concerned when I wasn’t’t getting any advances…. Lol

Worthy of note: This prayer helped me a great deal, saved me hassel of being overwhelmed with unnecessary thoughts and imagination. You can always take anything to God in prayer. He will answer!

I had a mantra that the one man I went into a relationship with was the man I would I marry. I pledged to God that I wasn’t going to be running in and out of relationships And I am so grateful I didn’t.

Does that mean I was never in a relationship? Nah… Let me gist you.

In the year I was in SS3 I met a young man, he had just got admission. He said he loved me…. Over the phone. And so we started our long distance phone relationship. You know the sort of relationship that needs Xtracool calls to survive? Na him be that. Lol

Two facts about this my first relationship… It was a secret relationship because I wasn’t yet in University, I disobeyed mum’s instruction. Why? Was I in love?

Well the major reason why I said yes was that some of my friends had boyfriends already and I wanted to know what it felt like.

And sure enough, I later loved the guy. But the major reason why I entered the ship wasn’t love.

Fact 2: Because of mantra, I had the intention to marry this dude. I felt I needed to fulfil that word. The one man I date is the man I am gonna marry.

Let me take this next paragraph to laugh at myself…… Lol.

It would have been a big error because I wasn’t guided by God into it in the first place. So thanks be to God that the moment I got admission into Lautech, I joined ASF and I started to learn of God, how to hear Him and follow instructions.

I knew that the relationship wasn’t the will of God for me, I had to break off my long distance relationship and break his heart.   Mo fun won ni breakfast. Lol

Lesson: Don’t run ahead of the Lord. There’s no need to be in a hurry for relationship.

Back to my story….

Towards the end of my service year, I found rest in the Lord. I realized that I had been going about my waiting all wrong. Rather waiting on the Lord, I was waiting for the brother A.

Instead of my focus to be on God, it was on brother A. Watching his every move, checking for signs/green light.

Lesson: When God tells you He will make a way in the wilderness, don’t focus on the wilderness. Focus on God!

At the beginning of my story, I was excited about getting into a relationship, later I became anxious about it and then in the end, I rested in the Lord.

On the 28th of September, 2019, Brother A asked that we met and like we would normally meet because we were already friends, I didn’t think too much off it.

While on our outing, brother A asked me a question. He said, “you have always told me that God gave you instructions to wait for a brother, who is it?”

I smiled and looked at him… ‘It is you!’ I replied

Did I tell you that brother A proposed already before asking me the above question? Yes he did. Within the twinkle of an eye, the journey of 7 years waiting was over. God’s word had come to pass and I was like one who was dreaming.

When you wait for someone for 7 years, you fall in love with the thought of them or the imagination of being with them. There were times I had to ask the Lord to Purge my heart of the lustful love that had grown in my heart over time for Brother A.

I also noticed that there were times when I felt jealous when I saw brother A with other sisters. Times like this were when I would ask the Lord to deal with me again.

My desire has always been to love people, not for gain but because it is meet and right so to do.

It is important to guard your heart with all diligence because out of it springs the issue of life.

To the glory of God, I am glad that I didn’t awaken love until it was time. It is important to state to you that the journey of courtship must also be walked in purity (that’s another beautiful story I can’t wait to tell)

We have come to the end of my story, but it’s not just a story. I’m sharing this testimony that you may be strengthened in your waiting and trusting the Lord.

I am sharing my story so you learn not to worry because if it is God, it is certain. I am proof!

It is my pleasure to introduce to you all… Brother A… Who is now my beloved husband. Mr. Babajide Obimakinde… Eeri oro Oluwa simi. (Let me stop here..lol). How pleasant it is to wait upon the LORD.

Thank you for following through, I trust you have been blessed.

Share in the comment box how you have been blessed. Feel free to share with someone who needs to read this…

The Lord bless you and keep you in His will. Till I come your way with my next blog post.

Stay blessed!

Mrs. Oluwabukola Obimakinde.😍

22 thoughts on “On Awakening Love – Part 2

  1. Thank you for sharing, your testimony reassures faith in the marriage institution. It is defined by what God said not feelings or frustrations or any other thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it does pay indeed. That is the best decision to make, would we rather run ahead and fall into a ditch? So God knows.

      Thank you for dropping by.

      Like

  2. Following ones timing birth worry and anxiety but God’s timing which demand waiting and trusting Him bring rest

    I salute your courage of waiting and trusting ma

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am blessed by this post Mrs Obimakinde a.k.a (Abukilight). Understanding that in the place of waiting is where strength is built. Also, I recently learnt that the secret to speed is in the place of waiting, I mean waiting on the promises of God.
    Btw I couldn’t hold the air in my lungs when you wrote ” I was a doubting Thomasina” lol 😆

    Liked by 1 person

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